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Four Things I Learned When I Move Out of My Parents Home

Independent life

A year after graduation, I decided to live alone in the jungle that is the city.

My job as a media practitioner requires me to hop from one place to another, interact with people, and meet deadlines in between. If you are in Manila with a 9-5 job and you partner it with the daily dose of stress coming from traffic, I am sure you know the feeling.

And so I asked my parents if I could live in the city—on my own. Hesitant, of course, my ever supportive parents nodded and gave me a checklist of dos and do not’s they still remind me up to this day.

Fast forward to four years, I may have been still the same old girl my parents know—who loves to eat sinaing na tulingan or dinengdeng, I know am more confident and independent as I was before.

I would love to share with you these four things I learned for the past four years of living independently.

 

moving out

The city can be intimidating. You need to be tough.

 

  1. You have the freedom to do whatever you want, but you are responsible for any actions you make

Yes, I know. You are a 20-something millennial uncovering the next chapter of your life alone. It sounds oh so independent. You’ll get to spend time for yourself, see someone without the having too many interrogations from your parents and your nosy siblings, or go wherever you want to go without worrying about the curfew.

But these actions, if decided too abruptly, may end up ruining a supposed independent life in the city. Start by weighing things in: Do I really need to buy a car? Can I support myself with all these responsibilities?  Do I have savings? Do I really need to say yes to this man I just met? Can I afford to go on our barkada trip?

 

Moving Out

Living alone means you are in charge of things. Learn to organize and make your priorities straight.

 

Take note of your actions and decisions, consult someone if you need to, get advice from your parents, and decide on your own. Remember, you are your own decision-maker. It’s nice to have as many choices as you can but follow what’s inside your heart and you’ll never go wrong.

Sure, you can always go home to your parents and cry yourself to sleep. But I say, as long as you can handle it yourself, you deal with it on your own.

 

  1. You thought you’ll get to save but you end up spending more. Nevertheless, you learn to value money.

Moving out of your parent’s house means you are taking off the once sheltered space you have. You’ll wake up with no food on the table (You have to cook, or else you’ll end up getting fat from the chain of fast foods in the block), the laundry will pile up (and it will smell), and you have to clean your place.

Moving out of your parents means you need to have your own space, buy groceries for yourself, pay the bills—credit cards, insurance, the internet, electricity, water, gym fees, and what-have-you (Oh, adulating problems).

 

Moving out

I got to travel a lot after I learned to live independently. Taken at Tarak Ridge, Mariveles, Bataan

 

For a time you will think of saving because that’s what independents do, right? And so you’ll save a portion of your salary and open a bank account. But then you spotted a seat sale! Or you needed to buy a new book or a pair of trekking shoes for your next hike. The next thing you know, your money is just enough for your survival till the next paycheck comes. Worst, you need to borrow money from a friend or get attracted to more credit cards.

These are the times we realized our parents’ hard work—since we were brought up to this world until they send us to school. We get to see the worth of every single peso we work for, and thus, we learn, in time, to spend it wisely, and save up for ourselves in the future.

I learned to think of what’s necessary first before splurging on something. Yes, we say “Treat yo’self!” every once in a while but be sure you’ll not be spending more than what you are earning.

Better yet, you might think of doing part time jobs—be it writing online, putting up a pre-loved shop, or make money out of your artistic skills. Be creative and passionate!

 

  1. You will have to deal with different kinds of people.

The first weeks would mean discovering that your neighboring boarders do not share the same genre of music as you. Blasting sounds from the next room might irritate you or the neighbor’s dogs might be barking so loud that you can’t sleep. Though you are renting your own space, you will still have to try interacting with other people.  Eventually, you will meet people of different kinds. You might not like them, or you end up being friends with them—either way, you will learn how to deal with them.

And it’s not just in your own place. At work too. But while there are a lot of people whom we might not end up being friends with, eventually you will meet people who share the same passion as you. Treasure them. Go on adventures with them, create projects together, and know them more. I am sure they, too, are looking for like-minded individuals whom they can also share their interests with.

 

moving out

Missing home does not mean moving out is a wrong decision. Taken from Lahuy Island, Caramoan Island.

 

  1. Wherever you go, you’ll always go back home

I have been to many places, met many people along the way, and learned things while I live life on my own in the city. But what’s best is coming back home.

Sometimes, when I am stuck in my room doing nothing, or if the bad weather cancels work and suspend the internet, I think of home and what my father could have been cooking at that time.

This is why I always see to it that I come back home every week. I would excitedly go home in Rizal and spend time catching up with my family. Sometimes, I will drop by the market to buy fruits and some knickknacks for my nephew before going home.

On weekend nights I would spend hours of conversations with my parents about how my week was until the wee hours. Then my mother would cook a hearty breakfast for the whole family and continue catching up till the afternoon over coffee and bread.

My mother always says that we all have a place in this world. I am currently chasing my dreams and finding that place in the city. I know it will not be that easy but with all the support of my family and the learning I got from being away from home, and being in different places, I know I am getting there.

How about you? Did you have the same experiences as mine? Let me know!

13 comments

  • Such a cool post. Its always tough leaving home for the first time and there’s a serious dearth of good articles describing it as it is. Thanks for sharing

  • I agree being independent means a lot of responsibilities

    I have been independent ever since, there are pros and cons but these are more challenging and rewarding as a person.

    I do come.back home and I miss home. Since I became a nomad, going home or coming home to my parents place is such an amazing journey especially after months of being away.

  • I can genuinely relate to this post, it is because I started living on my own when I was 13 years old and that was completely living on my own by means of working on my own money to spend everyday to my school fees in High school and college. Yes, when you live independently, you’ll surely learn a bunch and that’s something everyone should try and experience.

    LaiAriel

  • I can really relate to this article. It was my early 20’s when I decided to move out of my parents home and travel the world. Since then I often went home.

    I work remotely as a social media manager for different companies which means I can work anywhere in the world as long as there’s internet connection.

    I’ve learned so much on the road when I decided to live independently. Aside from the things that you’ve mentioned. I learned to create a support network – this is not just my family. These are friends on the road that will support me when I need help. I also learn how to master my weakness, get involved in the community, be assertive, follow my dreams and make them come true

  • In the end, the feedback is positive, right? And with a supportive family like yours you know that whatever it happens they will be there to support you. Thanks for sharing

  • Moving out on your own does have its pros and cons. But it is a great stepping stone to future successes. You do lose a lot but in the end to gain something you have to.

  • Very wise!
    You have learnt the lessons well. I am sure life will be smooth and you will face the challenges well. 🙂

  • Being independent has its advantage and disadvantages… and I am with you, I love to be independent as well:) It means freedom. But still, the best road to take is the one going home….

  • When I moved out of my parents home, I experienced challenges that shaped me as an independent woman. I agree with you, we always need to go back home… We can learn from our freedom and independence, but we need to always go back especially to check on our parents and make them happy as well.

    THE GIRL WITH THE MUJI HAT

  • Good job on being independent. I’ve been planning to become independent soon. But it is really hard for me because I am 100% lazy. I mean, I am only hardworking if it is my job and if it directly impacts me. But doing laundry, house-cleaning, and other similar stuff make me go crazy, I’d prefer hiring someone to maintain my place if ever. But maybe in the future, who knows?!

    Andi | http://www.wizardandi.com

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