“What’s your plan? Are you going back to work?” my mom asked it has been 7 months since I left the corporate world.
I replied, “I will go back to Thailand.”
I didn’t hear any objections.
She then asked, “When is your flight? Until when will you be in Bangkok?”
I said my flight would be on March 12 and I would be there until May.
“So, you will not be here on my Birthday?” I sensed the sadness in her voice. I couldn’t blame her. I was traveling during my birthday. I didn’t celebrate Christmas and New Year in the Philippines. I’ ve been missing out on important family occasions.
“I’ll just send money, so you will have something to prepare for your birthday.”
She remained silent. I didn’t know what was running on her mind, but I knew she has been silently supporting my decisions in life.
I had a sleepless night, pondering my options. Would I sign the job offer here in Manila, or go back to Bangkok?
It was a tough decision to make, but in the end, I decided to follow my happiness and fly to Thailand. I didn’t tell anyone about it right away. Not even my parents knew about it. Well, they are used to that. I never ask my parent’s opinion. They know I will always do what I want.
I remember the times that they saw me packing my things and had no idea where I was going next. Honestly, I felt guilty for not letting them know in advance.
To my parents, I’m sorry if I make you worry about my safety. But believe me, I always take care on the road.
When I started living on my own and becoming independent, I sometimes forget to tell you where I’m going. I forgot to tell you that I wasn’t in Manila, that I was flying out of the country, that I was traveling solo in Mindanao, that I was in a remote area.
I’m sorry that sometimes, you need to check on me on Facebook to know what I’m doing with my life.
I remember when they texted me, “Are you in Zamboanga? What are you doing there? Until when are you staying there? Take care.”
I didn’t tell them that I was going to Basilan because I didn’t want them to overthink since the island doesn’t have a good image in the Philippines.
Leaving my corporate job to travel was one of the hardest decisions I made in my life because my family is the biggest factor why I work. I need to support them. I want to give them a more comfortable life, but leaving my job wouldn’t make it possible. Or, would make it more difficult at least.
I didn’t know how to tell them I was resigning without making them worry about our financial security.
It just happened that one day, I had to deliver the news.
“Maximize the use of your health cards since I’ll resign and fly to Indonesia. But don’t worry. I’ll send money.”
Again, I didn’t hear any complaints. They silently supported my decision.
I didn’t fail my promise that I would support them despite having no stable job. I still had savings which I think would be enough until I found a new work.
But the idea of going back to the office wasn’t part of the plan yet. So, I did some online gigs, doubled my effort to earn money online, work on the road, sell things online, and more to continuously enjoy the freedom that I have had while supporting them at the same time.
But the odds weren’t in my favor. In February, it broke my heart to tell them that I no longer have extra money to support them. Things didn’t go according to my plan.
I told them to borrow money from someone when the need arises and I would just pay it once I get a job.
I expected to start working somewhere when I came back to Manila in January, but due to some circumstances, it didn’t push through. I didn’t have Plan B. So, I had to spend my savings without expecting any income.
I have been suffering for a month now due to this mistake. And I will have to wait for my trip to Bangkok, so I can have a stable income again.
I didn’t hear any complaints from my parents. I know that as I struggle, my family is struggling too, even if they don’t tell me.
I’m sorry if I fail you this time. Once everything goes back to normal, promise to take you somewhere again.
It has been a yearly practice for me to treat my family to a vacation.
I want them to experience the joy of being out of town, away from the city and close to nature.
I want them to understand more why I always travel, why I always fly and go to beaches.
I thank them for being supportive in my decisions in life. Sometimes, my mom even asks me if I’ve been to this place and that place, and suggests where I should go next.
To my parents, thank you for not stopping me from traveling. I know, despite the fact that I don’t have a car or house yet, or big savings, or a high position in a company, you are proud of me because I have been able to achieve these things in life.